What makes Functional Programs and Systems “Functional”?

In which we ponder the Functional Nature of Life, The Universe, and Everything. Please feel free to follow through the weeds, or jump straight to the bottom for my 2 nano BTC on the matter. (Or my current state of mind, at any rate.)

Disclaimer: I live in the Land of Lisp, meditate in the Church of Alonzo, and am ever-wary of The State. Only converts might find some entertainment value.

“For the love of State is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from Lambda the Ultimate, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

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Baby don’t hurry, don’t stop (feat. Melancholy)

This is how I struggle from time to time. It is not pretty. These days it’s been a lot more. Thankfully, it is not a constant. Instead of reading this, you should want to listen to Alain de Botton.

For here lies melancholy that I put to paper from a particularly deep hole, not too long ago. It may ruin your day, or it may make you feel a little bit understood about your dark moments. And it—unlike Alain’s teachings—will certainly not help you find a way through.

Your mileage will vary.

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How To Be a Totally Natural Conference Speaker?

A friend and I were chatting recently about speaking at conferences. Now this person is smart and I’ve learned a thing or two from his in-depth engineering blog posts. Yet there he was, telling me I’m so super good at communicating ideas (implying he’s not so super good), and besides he has nothing to say worthy of a conference talk.


Uncalled for praise is jarring, but I took it—2021 was heartless, OK? Still, the subtext of magic bothered me. That I am somehow special. A born natural. So I told him my secret formula. And now I’m telling you.

Here is how to be a totes natural conference speaker…

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